Handfasting

Handfasting is an ancient Celtic tradition which can incorporate a beautiful and symbolic piece of theatre into your wedding ceremony. 

As ancient as stone circles, it symbolised a couple's betrothal and it came from the Old Norse word hand-festa which meant to strike a bargain by joining hands. 

It referred to the pre-Christian practice of symbolically fastening or wrapping the hands of a couple together during the wedding ceremony.

The terminology and practice are especially associated with Germanic peoples, including the English and Norse, as well as the Scottish Gaels. As a form of betrothal or unofficial wedding, handfasting was common in England during Todor times as a form of temporary marriage. It was also practised in 17th-century Scotland and has been revived in Neopaganism.

The symbolism of handfasting remains in our culture when we shake a person's hand to confirm an agreement. When we love someone, we will often hold their hand to feel close to them. When I use this ritual in a ceremony I invite the congregation to hold the hand of the person next to them in order to feel the warmth and feeling of connection this brings.

In Chinese culture, the tying of a knot was said to be a symbol of good luck and good things to come. Knots symbolically represent bonds and I normally tie the cord in a figure of eight to represent eternity. You could also use a mariners knot if the couple were keen sailors.

I create the handfasting cords myself by plaiting ribbons or cords together. I can make these symbolic. For example, I have used the colours of the Portuguese flag or red to represent passion or blue for purity. I normally use three cords to represent the couple and the universe, but more could be used to represent the couple and their children. 

You could also be creative with the materials for example using cloth, ribbons, or even shoe laces. It is also nice to suggest that the cords are imbued with the love and good wishes of all the couple´s friends and family watching. 

The bride and groom are welcome to make their own handfasting cord and included tokens or charms. It is also a good opportunity to include a close family member like the bride´s mother by asking them to tie the knot. You could also bind a child´s hand in the knot as a symbol of a family united by marriage.

With this element in the ceremony, I try to use imagery which suggests the binding together of two separate lives for example, “This ribbon represents your life, your love and the eternal connection you share. As your hand are tied so are your lives.”

The cord will also act as a beautiful momento of the day. I like to say as I tie the knot, “May your love stay strong as long as this knot holds fast.” So you will be able to keep the cord and the knot forever as a symbol of your eternal bond.

Here is an example of how it can be used in the script of the ceremony.

Meghann and Jamie, your joining of these cords represents the joining together of your separate lives and symbolises your commitment. As I join your hands, so your lives are tied together as you quite literally tie the knot.

This ribbon represents your life, your love and the eternal connection you feel for one another.

Woven into this handfasting cord and contained within its fibres are the hope, good wishes and love that you and all your family and friends feel today for your married life.

I tie this knot in a figure of eight to represent eternity. Left hand to left hand as the ancients believed the vein of love ran from the left finger to the heart. Into this knot may love, laughter and happiness create an eternal tie.

There is a lovely poem that I also suggest is read by one of the bridal party after the tying of the cord:

"Blessing of the Hands"

These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow and forever.

These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future.

These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other.

These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind.

These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow and tears of joy.

These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children.

These are the hands that will help you to hold your family as one.

These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.

And lastly, these are the hands that, even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving the you same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.